Small World

Okay so it's been a while. I would like to say I've been busy but I think the better word is overwhelmed. Still getting used to this lack of schedule life. Weird!

I've spent the past few weeks auditioning, baking, getting totally hooked on yoga, and realizing more and more how small the world really is. I cannot count how many times I've been meeting someone new and found out that we have at least a handful of friends in common. I think the most outrageous though was finding out that the guy interviewing me last week grew up performing in the same theater company as I did. In fact, his dad was one of our main producers of the company! I couldn't even believe it. We're talking kids theater in Walnut

Creek, he is the chair of performing arts at a prep school, and I found the job opening on Backstage Online. Seriously, what are the odds?

On top of that I've been spending a lot of time with my good friend Steve, a graduate of USC (sorry bruin friends) and I'm constantly in awe of how many people we both know or the connections made while I've been introduced to friends of his.

Whether it be people I grew up with or UCLA people or something else, I'm realizing that we are all totally connected without even realizing it. Isn't it bizarre to think that the random people we see in the grocery stores, or the gas station are probably only separated from us by 2 or 3 degrees? Trips me out. hah

I've put Nemo, my kitchen aid, to good use in recent days as well. Last week I made sinful Buttermilk Cupcakes with buttermilk frosting which I dyed red and green to go with a mexican theme dinner party. It's sort of hard to tell, but I cut out some of the center of the cupcake and filled it with red while and green to replicate the flag of my mexi people. I also made carrot cake cupcakes for a birthday party, but I didn't take a picture. They were actually a lot more work than I anticipated, but very worth it. The cream cheese frosting was truly to die for.

Here's a picture of the amazing salad Bill made for our entirely vegan (save for my cupcakes) fiesta. He gave me his left over cilantro dressing and I made my own version of the salad later in the week. It was DELICIOUS and managed to feed me for about 3 days straight!

I think that's about all for now. My mom's coming to town tomorrow and hopefully I'll finally get my room finished. I think I've even talked her into coming to yoga with m and Melissa while she's here. Should be fun.

More soon!

Lazy Sunday

Hellloooo lazy Sunday!

At the moment it is 12:35pm. I am still in bed, still in my pajamas, drinking my coffee and enjoying 'dolce far niente'. The sweetness of doing nothing. My week has finally started to slow down a bit and now I am allowing it to come to a screeching but peaceful halt. This weekend has been pretty jam packed with exciting events. I broke in my new kitchen aid mixer AND antique oven (pictures to follow) by baking a huge Almond Strawberry coffee cake and chocolate chip cookies. I saw Eat Pray Love which was amazing and inspiring. I forgot how much the book had touched me and the movie had the same, if not more, of an emotional affect. My day of lovely art was continued when I went to see the dance theater piece NeverWonderland produced and created by friends of mine and included performances by my amazingly talented Cabaret diva Rachel Hirshee. The show was soooo fantastic. It was inventive, and detailed and danced so beautifully by the whole cast. I could not believe how much choreography there was! And how intricate most of it was, the movement was so married to the perfectly chosen music, truly a stunning performance.

In other news, the job hunt is not quite going as well as hoped. I think I just need to start another wave of applying. I interviewed and taught a sample class at a studio in Manhattan Beach, so perhaps that will work out. Just sending good vibes into the universe and hoping I get some back in return. Seeing all this great theater, and movies and such has made me ache to be working on a project again. It's weird not being involved in anything. I'm taking lots of dance classes which is great and I plan to get my ass back to my usual Edge classes starting this week, but I miss the daily grind of rehearsals and creating something. Working together to mold a piece of text or music to what we believe to be its best form. Although I am enjoying my days of relaxing, there are only so many I can enjoy before I start acting like my cat when he's not allowed to go outside. Jumping on all the furniture he knows he's supposed to avoid, scratching at the windows and doors, clawing the carpets, and whining insufferably to be let out.

Okay so maybe that's a bit of a dramatic way to say I just get stir crazy when I wake up and realize I don't have a thousand things to do. But it's true. I don't believe I am meant to be a static or still person. I just gotta get out and MOVE!

Here's the pictures of my orange mixer dutifully named Nemo....

My delicious coffee cake. Topped with a layer of whipped strawberry jam, and a thick layer of almond crumble. Your mouth should be watering.

And lastly, my signature chocolate chippers which I gave to the cast of NeverWonderland and other friends.

Jobs and Goodies

I've been putting off this day for quite a while...today I officially gave into the inevitability that I will need to get a real person job. So job hunting I went! Part of the problem is I don't really know what I would like to do. I have a romanticized idea about working in some hip, organic, or perhaps trendy cafe at night while dancing my ass off at auditions all day. I applied to a cupcake place which may make me nice and plump, but also would feed my food nerd inside me. I'm applying to lululemon and a handful of other places too. Basically whatever looks decent in my cute, new neighborhood.

I have this crazy notion that I am going to love whatever job I find, and I think if I believe it hard enough, the universe might just make my wish come true. Who says your survival job has to be painful or awful? I say down to that and up with working as a real adult doing something I at least like! I've also looked into bartending school which would be a great way to supplement my income while not cutting into audition availability at all. But who know. I'm on this ride and I'm holdin on tight. Just waiting to see where the next few weeks take me.

I've got another audition Thursday which is nice. It's crazy how without school and work-work I'm managing to keep myself busy almost all day long. I think setting up the new apartment really helps that though. Today I was able to finally sleep in a bit, my body is killing me after a Disney, hip-hop, dance call with Tessandra Chavez. I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon finally unpacking all my kitchen stuff, putting contact paper into our cabinets. A truly domestic morning. It felt good though, getting everything finally organized. I put our table together so we now officially have furniture in our living room. Still working on the TV and couch, but hey, progress is progress! I've even gotten a few things up on my walls; I'm telling you, watch out, I am makin moves over here.

The only downside to this place is we haven't gotten our gas turned on yet. By the time they come Friday I will have been without a stove for 2 WEEKS! I can't believe it. I have managed thanks to my handy dandy George Foreman grill but it's about time to get cooking! Not to mention my brand new Kitchen Aid mixer is sitting in our kitchen just glaring at me, waiting to be used. I have a feeling for the first few weeks with that baby I'm gunna be making all kinds of crazy goodies. I foresee cakes, cookies and maybe even bread!

The possibilities are endless. More Soon

Crunching Metal

Since I've been back in LA I've driven past a staggering number of car accidents. Almost daily as I drive the many freeways and busy streets I see people pulled over to the sides with dented fenders exchanging information. I even got love tapped by a car behind me while stopped at a red light. I didn't even realize what had happened until my dad got out of the car to check for damage. There was none and so we went on our merry way. The lil bump caught me so off guard, I couldn't stop laughing! It was the first time I had even been rear-ended!

It makes me wonder though, of all these accidents, how many are caused by distracted drivers? I admit I have texted in my car before, usually while stopped at lights, but seriously...how dangerous is that?! Especially in a city like LA where people are constantly cutting you off, stopping quickly and driving like maniacs. Taking yours eyes away for a second is just crazy! I mean it's awful enough I have my ipod plugged into my car. I'd venture to say scrolling for music while driving is no less of an offense than texting. Staring at a small screen when we should be staring at the road, no matter what it is, is just a bad idea.

Of all these accidents I've driven past only one happened right in front of me. Yesterday after driving all the way up to Norcal I was stopped at a red light mildly dazing off into space when suddenly two cars collided in the intersection in front of me. For me there are few sounds I hate more than the crunching of car metal in an accident. A woman had decided to go for a left turn at the very end of her yellow light which then turned red, and a man whose light had turned green ran right into her. I could literally feel my heart pounding, my mouth was wide open. I was wondering if I should get out and help. The woman pulled her severely dented car over while the man got out of his car and started cursing and yelling at her. She got out, her airbag had opened and she was bleeding from either her mouth or nose. She seemed completely terrified. The man continued to berate her, yelling things like "Thanks a lot! You've just screwed my whole f***ing family! This is our only transportation!" I'm not sure whose fault the accident was, perhaps a combination of both. Although she maybe shouldn't have gone through the yellow, shouldn't he have seen that she had not yet cleared the intersection? The whole scene really made me realize how lucky I am. Both people involved were probably in for a whole ordeal regarding money, insurance, and maybe having to be without a car for a while. Right now, especially in areas like Richmond where I was, money and work doesn't always come easy. There's a lot of people out there suffering, who can't afford accidents or rising insurance costs.

I wish there was something I could be doing. As I was unpacking my new apartment I realized how much stuff I have. But why?! I mean sure, I need lots of dance shoes and many of my clothes are hand-me-downs from friends. I don't spend insane amounts of money on clothes or anything like that. But what about those people who have nothing? All the homeless people or the people who can't afford food. I mean I'm sitting in my new apartment trying to organize my apparent plethora of stuff and sheet music and again it hit me how fortunate I am to have everything I do. All I can do is thank this universe for blessing me with such gifts.

Feeding the soul and the tummy...

So I have a small confession to make. I'm an avid reader of Jason Mraz's blog. A wonderful friend suggested I check it out and I love it. He has such an intelligent and witty way of writing about the world around him. Both the good and the bad. His blog was actually what finally made me start one after debating it for a while.

I've settled back into LA. Well if you can even call it that. I'm in an apartment getting emptier by the day. I constantly have the nagging feeling I should be packing but manage not to get started yet because I still don't know where I'll be moving. The days are ticking down and I'm nervous but also optimistic we will find something we love. The past few days have been spent mostly with myself. The majority of my friends are not in town and up until this morning I had been without internet and am still without a TV. It's interesting how much time those two screens take up in our lives isn't it?

Well to supplement the time I would have spent surfing facebook, checking my email, and potentially writing here I found other, better, ways to entertain myself. And what's better? I ended up creating some amazing meals, reading some great books, and finding the much needed quiet time I had been craving since coming back to LA. For dinner the past two nights I've marinated chicken in balsalmic with onions, salt, parsley, and garlic. Then pan fried the chicken all together with the onions which simultaneously cooked to yummy caramelized perfection. I then cut up my chicken and added it to a giant bed of arugula, tossed in a little fresh basil, squirted half a lemon over the top and viola! The most delicious and easy salad ever. On the side I had boiled broccoli and some mushroom risotto. Talk about delicious. Tonight, in a wonderfully serendipitous search through Netflix I found Julie and Julia and watched the movie while enjoying my quick and healthy home cooked meal.

I'm quite proud of myself to be cooking while my apartment looks the way it does. I know I keep talking about the messy and awful state of this place, but trust me, it's pretty bad. I think most people would have given up and gone to McDonald's by now. But I'm staying strong!

Here's some pictures of my latest creations. Other than the cake they all include arugula. I've just been reintroduced to it and I'm obsessed!

Driving Thoughts

So I'm finally back in LA and already it feels like I've never left. My apartment, now in a completely transient state, has almost no furniture in the living room, no dining room chairs, and one less bed than when I was last here. The living room and other common areas have begun to fill up with boxes and bags of stuff to be moved into new places. There's still the same amount of hair-balls, dirt, and overall grime that never seems to leave no matter how much I or anyone else cleans. I think it's the consequence of living in a building where countless other college students have lived, slept, studied, and partied. The walls are not quite white, and the paint job my roommates and I did in my room and the living room is less than perfect.

Although I had dreaded coming back to Cali and to this apartment I will miss this place for all the memories shared here. The people, the parties, movie nights, girl nights. Two full years of my life spent sleeping in my tiny twin bed in the corner perpendicular to Klarissa's. Even now as I lie in here, it's a part of a routine. For two years essentially every night before sleeping I would find myself in this very position checking emails, facebook, or cramming in last minute homework. And now in two short weeks I'll be starting completely over again in a new apartment in a new neighborhood. It's exciting but mind blowing. I think I'm starting to realize my time in this college village and everything that came along with it is rapidly coming to a close. I had said goodbye to this world mentally when I hopped on the plane for Connecticut a month ago, but physically it's a lot to take in. Not to mention a whole lotta crap to move out!

Now that I'm out of school my mind keeps getting flooded with all the things I want to accomplish. I want to perform as a dancer, I want to sing, I want to act. I want to choreograph. Learn the guitar, learn languages. I want to write....something. All of a sudden my hunger to do EVERYTHING has come alive. But where to start!? I want to read more, watch TV less. Eat better food. I want to try a million new recipes and share them with friends. I want to find a survival job that I love not one I just deal with. I want to travel. I want to be in love. It's overwhelming. Without the confines of school the possibilities seem endless, and yet oddly out of reach. I guess this is my entry of word vomit, but it's true. Driving down from Northern California to LA my mind was constantly moving from one thing to the next. I had to keep telling myself not to forget things because when left alone with your music and your thoughts for six hours things come and go like water. One minute the ideas are there and the next they're out in the middle of the sea smiling back at you. Taunting you cause you can't catch them and remember why they were important. As much as that drive can be dreadful, I always manage to find a good deal of clarity in the process. With no means of distractions other than the occasional phone call and music you are forced to ponder and think all on your own. No facebook to keep you hypnotized, no mindless clicking through people's pictures and pages to stalk insignificant details they choose to share or overshare about their lives. In the car, alone on the road, it's pretty wonderful actually. Maybe that's where this spurt of dialogue came from.

More soon.

Going Going, Back Back to Cali Cali

So I'm back in California. The past 2 weeks have been a whirl-wind. I went from opening a show in CT, to hanging in NYC with new friends, to the overcast Richmond weather. I'm in my mom's house reflecting on the adventure I've just had. A bunch of family is coming over tonight for a bbq, sort of a belated Graduation party mixed with 'I'm never home so lets get together' party. I found some recipes in Cooking Light magazine that I am trying out for the shindig so I am spending some time prepping for that. There's something so methodical about pulling the little thyme leaves off of their stem. I found myself meticulously removing the leaves and day dreaming about everything that's just occurred and what's to come when I finally return to LA in two short days.

I couldn't really sleep the other night because all of a sudden the tasks I had managed to forget about for the last month came creeping back into my brain. I have to get new headshots, I need to get my resume on various casting sites, I need a job, I have to MOVE! And all before August even starts. I guess the time for rest is...never? Not that this is uncommon for me, just daunting. Peggy was right when she told me that returning home from our baby town kind of feels like 'What just happened?'...'Was that real?' All of a sudden it feels like it was a dream or a blur, something far away when really it was only a week ago.

While in NYC I got to see 2 shows. I wanted to see Fela but both times I tried to get tickets the people at the TKTS windows told me the seats sucked. So instead I saw La Cage Au Folles and American Idiot. La Cage was fantastic. It took me a while to warm up to it, but by the end I was totally enthralled, laughing hysterically and in awe of the male chorus who did a thousand jump splits in their Can-Can number. Holy cooter slams! It was insane, I just found myself laughing at the total abandon with which they hurled themselves into the air and then thumped flat onto the ground. American Idiot was...interesting. Overall it felt more like a rock concert than a musical. Everyone in the show was wildly talented, I loved the vocals and the movement quality. I wouldn't call it dance, but the choreography was really inventive and created really awesome pictures onstage. I also liked the music, I bought the cd and have enjoyed listening to it, but I probably wouldn't see it again. What I did find interesting was how much it just reminded me of Berkeley. Green Day is from our area and the show tried out at Berkeley Rep, so it makes sense. One girl was even wearing an "I hella heart Oakland" shirt which made me laugh.

I also managed to take a few dance classes while I was in the city which was a total BLAST. It has been a while since I took an entirely new class, by myself, with a teacher I've never met. My neck is very sore but I loved every second of it. At this point I'm looking for any reason to get back out to the east coast. Over this past month I've realized more and more that it is where I want to be. The community of performers, although huge, is so much tighter- more supportive. And the people I know in the city has now tripled! I love LA but leaving Goodspeed and NY was really tough. I was dreading it. Being home is nice, more relaxing than I had anticipated, but I'm just itching to get back to the East Coast.

If nothing else, I'm hoping to get back to see my show on their closing weekend in September. It truly is a special show and experience. Everyone is the top of the top in their field. One of our leading guys just put in his notice because he got cast in a new Broadway show and starts rehearsing in August. We've got amazing aerialists and dancers and singers, the show is truly spectacular. I am so proud to have been a part of it. The Sunday night show right before I left was tough. At the end of the show the cast sings an a cappella reprise of the song "Love Makes The World Go Round" and one of the guys in our cast sang the whole thing right to me in the mezzanine. I lost it. I had become so close with the cast, I have very rarely felt so compassionate about a cast, but I truly love everyone in that cast. I hope I can work with all of them again if not multiple times.

Anyways I've got to take my cake out of the oven and get started on my pasta salad. More soon.