May 10, 2011

Early Mornings

Good morning early risers!

It is a beautiful day in Los Angeles and in rare fashion I am wide awake and enjoying the morning calm. While living and working in San Diego I often found myself up extremely early (like, before the sun comes up early) which is no easy task, but not always entirely unpleasant. With the exception of the few days I woke up with massive headaches from one too many glasses of wine the night before...but that's a story for another time.
While waking up at the ungodly hours I was never able to really relax and enjoy the morning. As soon as I was able to peel myself out from under the covers it was into the shower and onto my morning routine of vocal warmups (sorry neighbors) and lots of coffee. Generally by 7am we were in the van on our way to which ever school was our destination of the day. And by the time our performances for the day were done it was afternoon. The mornings seemed to fly by without notice while we unloaded our set in an array of locations which by the third week all seemed to blur together.

My reason for being up this morning is a temporary gig as nanny/driver for a family while the mother recovers from surgery. Gotta love that day job eh? Hi, my name is Cami. I'm a professional dancer slash performer slash nanny. Yikes. Lets hope I can drop that last title soon and replace it with something a little more awesome like broadway diva, or rising star, or superhero... I went too far again didn't I? Anyhoozles, I figured after my long two-audition day yesterday that getting up and staying up after dropping the kids would be torture. But I guess the sunshine and fresh air is luring me to stay awake and present for this morning. Or maybe it's the two cups of coffee I drank. My money's on the rays of sunlight pouring into my room. It feels like a frickin Disney movie in here I swear, all I need is some singing birds to come help with my dishes. Wouldn't that be nice.

All in all, real life is progressing as always. I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with my mom to celebrate mother's day and we had all kinds of wonderful chats. Exchanging new discoveries each of us is making on this never ending journey. The constant changes, ebbing and flowing through anything life throws at us even when we think it's all too much. I admire my mom a lot more than I probably let her know, but I gotta brag a bit and say she is one fantastic lady. To think she is still reinventing herself after two kids and a whole lotta living is inspiring. Just reminds me that life is really not about reaching a destination. We often think "once I have this I'll really be happy" or "After I reach this point in my career, work with this person, make this movie I'll be set" But that's just the thing, those sort of destinations, and clean cut milestones don't really exist. Except maybe in retrospect when we can look back and say, "ah yes, that's when I really started believing in myself as an actress" or "That's when I realized this relationship wasn't going to work" that "this school really was the right choice for me". But we can never make these realizations when we are in the middle of it, trudging through the mud of whatever today brings us because we are too busy learning and experiencing to notice or care.

Now I can look back on my time at school and pinpoint so many personal shifts within me. But at the time, I was just living. Going parties and classes, trying to survive 8am Tai Chi, and rehearsal every night. I'll be interested to see how the rest of this year plays out as I become more and more of a "real person". I'm sure it will continue to be a wild and bumpy ride!

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