"When it rains it pours."
Literally that should be my mantra, or at least the working title of the made for TV movie about my life. It seems that I am so rarely in any kind of in-between place. I go back and forth from feeling complacent, and tired, and useless to over worked, over booked and frantic in a matter of seconds. When I am feeling overwhelmed it is never a slight itch of a feeling. It is one of those moods when you think the world is going to end, the tears will not stop flowing, and nothing you do is right. When I am feeling great I want to shout it from the rooftops, start a dance party and have everyone join in. Maybe I'm bipolar, or maybe this is a part of getting older? Maybe having so much alone time suddenly forces you to discover the multidimensional, and slightly psychotic person you've always been? Who knows. Two weeks ago I was averaging one or two auditions per week. I was spending a lot of time reading and watching netflix, going to yoga, of course searching for a day job and cooking with all my fresh farmer's market finds. At that point it was pouring normalcy all over my big girl life. I had time to kill during the day which until recently was a complete rarity in my life.
This week however I have been on 5 auditions spanning from mainstream commercials to reality shows, to theater and student films. Suddenly it's raining cats and dogs all over my potentially professional performer life. I have another audition tomorrow, my dad's coming into town AND I have a concert to perform in on Saturday night. Oye! Did I mention there's a female chorus piece from Verdi's Macbeth in the concert sung entirely in ITALIAN? Yah, that's real and not easy. Also I am singing the soprano part which unfortunately for my neighbors sounds like a strangled cat when I am trying to learn it off of my old school tape recorder in the middle of the day. For my wonderfully grumpy neighbor who yelled at me to shut up; I'll stop singing at 2 in the afternoon when you stop yelling and laughing with your roommate as loud as possible at 2am. Thanks.
In other news, UCLA started school last week. I was surprised when I made the personal realization that I am so beyond happy NOT to be in school. I thought that come September I would be sad and nostalgic about everyone else starting their classes, and my friends and the comfort of knowing what I would be doing just about every hour of every day. But, I've realized quite the opposite is true. Sure, not knowing what I'll be doing day to day can be terrifying. Not having a day job stresses me out, and of course as a 20-something, single female, I'm looking for a boy. But when it comes down to it I know I am so lucky to be where I am. So this week was crazy, next week may be the opposite, but at least I can find solace in things like yoga and cooking to pass the time between these days of panic and madness. I really can't even believe this is the life I live.
I am beyond excited for my dad to come down this weekend. Although I feel bad for dragging him to all my obligations this weekend it will be nice to have a driving buddy, not to mention some one to make me mickey mouse pancakes in the morning. I thought I had more to write but I guess this is it for now.
As always there will be more soon and hopefully fun stories to follow.
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